a haze of memories for today

One year ago today, on a Sunday go to meeting morning, I discovered my mom in the midst of a cerebral hemorrhage, although I had no idea what was going on. Two days later she passed away. So I am remembering her today. I don't miss her company per se - I spent a lot of years on a different coast than she. But she had been with me since the April before although, as my niece put it, 'in the haze of alzheimers'. But she was there when she kissed me on the cheek. She was there in many ways such as that. I am so grateful for the time.

So, I find I like the memories; its like visiting her. I can surround myself in mental snapshots of times shared like turning the pages of a picture album. I can hear her voice, see her expressions, recall her music, feel her hair as I combed it and smell the conditioner. It makes me sad, but it warms me too - smiles with the tears. I guess that is what bittersweet is; interesting. I'm glad she's with the Lord and at rest; when I see her again, the haze will be gone. Never said it enough when you were here with us but, mommy, I love you !

She gave birth to me on this day, and on this day she began to leave me. Today, she is very near and dear.