rainy days and decembers ...

It's my favorite time of year - celebrating the advent of Christ. I'm moved by movies, and sentiments, and watching people. And there are birthdays in this month - 2 daughters, 1 brother in law, 1 son in law, and many dear friends, and I became 50.

Two years ago my mom died - it was my birthday. I was going to wake her for church - the husband was giving the message. I found later, after the firemen came and the paramedics lined the front of the house and the stairway, after I encouraged my husband to do what he does so I would have the comfort of knowing all was well with that part of the world, after holding her and wondering what diabetic crisis I had caused in my ineptitude, talking her back to this world with no avail, after alerting the brother and sister we had a situation with mom, later after following over to the hospital - she was having cerebral hemorrhage. She left us two days later.

The season has been this way for me for some time though, before the husband who has done wonderful things to make this season for me, I used to spend the holidays with the sisters family and still struggled. She has her season of difficulty, but Christmas is mine. This year the job is ambivalent, the church has a interim pastor and its in its own state, all the college kids are gone and our house is having quieter days, the giant graduates from boot camp at the end of the month in Chicago and I can't get there between weather and fares. But, life is not just some piece of cake. It's not just going to go my way.

Regardless, I love the season. I love my family. I love my friends. I love this time of year. Christ came and He is coming again! I don't know about rainy days and decembers, but the reason for the season IS!