TX trippin' San Antonio bound

On this daylight savings Sunday, we are headed home which is only the final chapter of this saga still in progress.

Our San Antonio roadtrip started Thursday mid-morning after we dropped by the eldest's school. We found ourselves chased out of town by impending snow. Of course it initially disguised itself as rain but soon fluffy stuff was falling onto the windshield. It didn't seem to lose pace until we were outside the Dallas Fort Worth area, leaving us - after lightning to contend with - decreasing rainfall. Our weather forecaster was fired!

The Thursday afternoon weather slowed our drive down to a crawl; it was dark before we arrived at our destination. But as before when we crossed countryside with the Rodriguezes, it was a delightful trip. The husband who was the constant driver distorted a quote from Die Hard, saying "Come out to Texas, we'll get together, have a few laughs..." We laughed, yammered on with quips and silliness about things, and lapsed into a delirium of singing to the tune of mp3s playing. At the end of the day, before losing our sanity loomed too near, we arrived.

An Exciting Time

"I got to tell you, I'm fairly excited to see what you are capable of. I mean if Morpheus is right and all. We're not supposed to talk about any of that but if you are, well then this is an exciting time." The Matrix

As September reaches its autumn and October rolls in, we have a pastor at church and I had to send him my favorite congratulatory quote. Our church has in its origins been and has even now the potential to be such a light and he seems just the shepherd for the remnant of a 'rag-tag fugitive fleet'. Pastor Dale - alter ego Earnhardt, Jr. ;-) - comes cup overflowing with determination, and intuitivity that smacks of spiritual discernment, and people skills, among what appears to be an array of talents - doesn't seem he buries them in the ground either.

We've met with him a few times and the congregation embraced him along with, of his family, his wife Connie and daughter Grace today - it was a great time of fellowship after the service. I'm excited for our church about the Lord's leading. For me, I'm so glad to have taken the red pill.

This I recall to my mind,
therefore have I hope.
It is of the LORD's mercies
that we are not consumed,
because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning:
great is thy faithfulness.
Lamentations 3

old things are passed away;
behold, all things are become new
2 Corinthians 5

HOW you say it!

Over the weekend I quickly went into the market to use the ATM to make a withdrawal. On my way out a bagger flagged me down to tell me I took the cashier's pen. I assured her I had only been to the ATM and therefore couldn't have taken anyone's pen, having no need to use one and there being no pen there. Okay, I am not that thin skinned, so I just shook off her statement as I got in my car subsequent to her 'O' and no apology for the accusation. In my mind, I thought of the customer-correct ways she could have presented her comment. Maybe - miss, by any chance do you still have the cashier's pen?. But no.

Without always reacting to it, I do happen to be somewhat sensitive to the way things are said to me. Growing up around the ever-hovering presence of anger and verbal abuse, okay so maybe I can be highly (I like that better than 'over') reactive. I definitely take notice of it, and if it is said too indifferently, too harsh, too critically or otherwise negatively, I have difficulty with it. And that is why I like this article.

the way we emphasize and use our tone of voice means a whole lot in the customer service arena. Think of all the ‘tones’ and deliveries we can use. A few that come to mind are...
1. Bored
2. Happy
3. Sad
4. Angry
5. Terrified
6. Worried
7. Unconcerned
8. Hurt
9. Inconsiderate
10. Shocked
You can take your own sentence and use any one of the emotions listed above. And certainly you can find other emotions to use, too.
Obviously, there are various tones we don’t want to use in certain situations

So often the words being conveyed would be so much better received had they been said differently. Generally people are not tone (of voice) deaf. I still like my mother's oft-used adage: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. It at least encourages 'thinking' before 'speaking'. Along with the antonyms, words can burn, chafe, chill, cut, rupture, stick, etc.; if words could kill ...

sun downer

Don't let the sun set upon your wrath.

Well my question at times is - where to put it? I could sweep it under the rug or proverbial mattress. Would I be able to sleep then? More than likely it would resemble the Princess and the Pea - and be disturbing as long as it was there - so ultimately no solution.

I was listening to a radio station this morning (KSGN 89.7) and the program airing suggested to place the wrath in forgiveness. Hardly seems fair does it? I need to have it, savor it, feel justified with it.

But think - at least my thinking became:

• In this way you can give the problem an identification - what is the problem. This situation went down, and this happened, and this is how I feel about it.
• You can give it ownership, even shared - they did this; I did that; and this was beyond anyone's control.
• Now you can determine what you are going to do with your part. I will work on my behavior when these circumstances occur.
• You can share your difficulty with the other person as to these circumstances. Now (personally, I wouldn't because I haven't overcome my nature to be the introvert and just stuff everything inside); don't be like me.
  
• At this point you can decide to forgive, one - yourself, two - any others. Therein lies the freedom to let the sun set.

Sure - we can't change others, but we can go on with our life even if we have to be around them. Admittedly this is simplistic, but essentially the process. With the circumstances placed in forgiveness, we can approach what lies ahead with a more beneficial attitude which will enable me to pray for the situation and all involved with a right spirit and mind.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. _{From PSALM 51}

It was through the Lord's forgiveness that I am continuously renewed. I am going to practice that forgiveness. Surely mine will be so meager by comparison; but it's funny how its me who benefits most in the end.

Go ahead sun, make your appointed rounds; I'm ready for you today.

as far as we go

If you haven't seen Conspiracy Theory; it should be on your list of movies to see. The cast headliners are Mel Gibson, and Julia Roberts whose films are nearly all favorites of mine. Mel, with an extensive portfolio, shows a knack for playing crazies - i.e., the Lethal Weapons (here's a tribute to the collection), Hamlet. I have Conspiracy on video only and it doesn't air very often, but it was on tonight. It is always enjoyable viewing.

A line in the movie stood out to me, strangely enough - "This is as far as we go, Alice" (someone no longer wants to help Julia look for Mel's character). Why this line? Well, as I have mentioned, being a frequent viewer of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I realized it was said almost exactly in the same way - "This is as far as we go, Babe" when Jane Smith's associate lets her know she can no longer work with her. Something about the way it is said makes the line catchy and memorable, or maybe I'm just plan crazy too.

This, then, is as far as we can go with this post ;-)

"when in Rome, do..."

These quotes are cited about being amongst others:
“I do not want my house to be walled on all sides or my windows to be stuffed. I want the cultures of all lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But, I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.” _{--Mohandas K. Gandhi}
“All real living is meeting.” _{--Martin Buber}
“Je’ est un autre.”: “The ‘I’ is an other.” _--Rimbaud
“Abandon all hope you who enter.” _{--Dante Alighieri, Inferno, III, 9}
“Some travelers want to go to foreign places but are dismayed when the places turn out actually to be foreign.” _{--Margaret Atwood}
“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” _{--T.S. Eliot}
“A society without strangers would be impoverished; to live only among ourselves, constantly inbreeding, never facing an outsider to make us question again and again our certainties and rules, would inevitably lead to atrophy. The experience of encountering a stranger--like the experience of suffering--is important and creative; provided we know when to step back.” _{--Elie Wiesel}
“…but you have no need to go anywhere--journey within yourself.” _{--Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet}
“No journey carries one far unless, as it extends into the world around us, it gives us equal distance into the world within.” _{--Lillian Smith}
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow mindedness.” _{--Mark Twain}

One of the most valuable experiences in my life was as an American Field Service summer exchange student to Denmark with 40 some other students from all over the United States. Because we lived in homes across the country and were together in the beginning for orientation, in the middle, and at the end, my insight was opened to things foreign to me about people of my own country as well as things of those from another country.

It sealed a change in focus on to people, as I discovered the importance of walking in the shoes of another. It created a paradigm shift in thinking and a comprehension that my perceptions of anything were based on my narrow world; others might have different views based on entirely different world realities. My mind was not only opened to a larger understanding of styles of government like socialism and democracy, but even to things I thought until then more singular to the United States like race and prejudice as I observed xenophobia towards Turkish people living there. I've learned not to be a visitor in the connotation of the ugly american, but a guest more akin to the heroic character of the original source of the phrase - "... who lives with the local people, comes to understand their needs, and gives genuinely-useful assistance...", here and abroad.

The key is to gain as much understanding as possible about any given situation so as to be able to narrow down to the key factors to be considered in order to make the best possible decisions in regards to it. A narrow view diminishes the possibility for accuracy.

Living Large with Little

It is encouraging to watch the Kids (the eldest and her husband) make their life together, riding through the storms of health, finance, moving, stressful schedules of school or work - they grow stronger all along the way. They just became homeowners of a 'fixer-upper' proudly struggling with all the surprises behind the once secured door. Oh, the water heater doesn't work; oh, the flooring allowance is a pittance compared to what is needed; oh, I really didn't need the car to break down now; oh the money for the refrigerator coming from the payoff of a credit card disappeared into the top end of the house financing itself; oh, that's where the bugs go when you fumigate. But hey, they have gotten their degrees at UCLA (fight, fight, fight!), survived apartment living in 'the Jungle', moved out of state, employment adjustments; and they have remained humble (guess that was inevitable - smirk) and thoroughly enjoyable people with an enviable host of caring, 'come-through' friends. I don't hear them gripe, whine, or see them give-up - and beyond their human-ness, they keep praying, keep planning, keep pushing forward, keep communicating, and counting their blessings. They're like that drill on Armageddon, they just keep pushin' their way through to the target. They're are one of mine (blessings) and a source of encouragement in my own trials. No matter how little they have, they make much of it. Such beautiful memories they are making store of.

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25-34

The son-in-law has a birthday this month - and well let me just say I am proud of him and so glad they found each other. He's OK and has performed a KO on her heart and, as the song says, 'nobody does it better'; no one came close; he's no Ishmael or pretender to the throne. So Son as you look upon these day, hold you head up high and be proud. You're a good man Charlie Brown in heroic porportions and we love you. Eldest, when it comes to you, words run to the farthest regions of the Netherlands. I was saying just tonight, 'the tangible can be taken away, but the intangible - you cant touch this'. Eldest, I love you and I am so proud. May the Lord continue to bless you, and all who care for you while you are so far away. Hugz to you Kids-MJ (together they are MJ, Superman's sweetheart in the movie) - a love of heroic porportions!

P.S. they make me think of the dear dahli lama family - oh to be young again *smile*

at Hello!

"So ... tell me how you met your wife."
"Oh", smiling, "well that's a funny story. See, one Christmas my young son, being concerned about how I was dealing with the death of his mom, calls a talk radio show to discuss it with them. To make a long story short a host of mail resulted from the airing, and my son fixed upon one particular responder. After a series of events he set in motion we met, she and I, on Valentine's Day atop the Empire State Building" - _{hypothetical conversation with the Sam Baldwin in Sleepless in Seattle.}

Sleepless is most definitely a frequent viewer for any romantic. I have no idea why I didn't mention this in my Affair to Remember coverage. If someone were to inquire of me, "how often can you watch this movie;" I'd clarify "in a day?" While simply falling in love with the story in its entirety, box of kleenex by my side, I too thoroughly enjoy the timelessly romantic soundtrack. Another such sountrack is the one to One Fine Day also from a delightful romantic comedy, not based at Christmas.

But to get to my point, there's a dialogue in Sleepless where Rosie O'Donnell - the best friend - having been told that 'boy met girl' and boy said 'hello,' asks Meg Ryan what did she say - She tells her with dismay, she could only say to Tom Hanks 'hello'. They flash to the scene in Affair to Remember to witness this exchange between Carey Grant and Deborah Kerr as she also says as Terry McKay: And all I could say was, "hello". (Watch the movie - really!) I was reminded in that moment of another 'hello' with Renee Zellweger and another Tom - Cruise, in Jerry Maguire (1996). There you have have this discourse that ends with:

Jerry: I love you. You... complete me.
Dorothy: Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at "hello".

I conclude, romantically 'hello' can say everything!

a new thing in me

At praise team practice on Friday, my Ace asks me if I would sing with her on Saturday. Now, I am just a minor background voice that gives some quantitative body to our small singing group. Singing is not my gift, but it is a joy. On the other hand, my Ace has a God-given voice to envy some angels I am sure. She had been asked by a friend of hers to sing at their Church's Veteran's day prayer breakfast, to which she readily agreed. She hoped though to get someone to sing with her.

Never in my saved life did I ever imagine just me and someone else in a public singing performance. But the willingness to say 'yes Lord' I've discovered is a mysterious key to wings of eagles adventures to unsuspected places - collecting frequent flyer mileage is highly recommended!

In the movie, the Matrix, there's a Judas character who says he wished he had taken the other pill, made the other choice. But I have never regretted chosing Jesus. I often send people who have gotten a new position and show promising potential in it a congratulatory message quote from the movie, "I got to tell you, I'm fairly excited to see what you are capable of. I mean if Morpheus is right and all. We're not supposed to talk about any of that but if you are, well then this is an exciting time." God has never disappointed me.

Knowing that all glory is God's, I realize our previous worship leader was used of Him when he welcomed me to sing with the group, letting me overcome my nervousness to become comfortable with my voice and using it in front of people. Thank you Rodney.

Thank you Lynn for believing in me. It was wonderful to be used of God simply because I was asked, to support my friend and her lovely voice, and to be complimented for allowing God to be glorified through something only He could do in Me. How weird to stand there and sing praise confidently with my friend among people I didn't know, but who were family in God.

Time and time again He does a new thing in me and I, a work in progress, am always the better for it. To go along for the ride, I simply need to say yes Lord!

So that if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new! And all things are from God, the One having reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and having given to us the ministry of reconciliation, as, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not charging their deviations to them, and having put the Word of reconciliation in us. Then on behalf of Christ, we are ambassadors, as God is exhorting through us, we beseech on behalf of Christ, Be reconciled to God. For He made the One who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Cor. 5:17-21

Lord let me ...

I've had this inspiration from an Amanda Bradley card for umpteen years now. I can't remember the inside sentiment for I only have the cover, nor the ocassion; but even today, I still love it- it remains an assuring source of comfort for me. Maybe you will too.

Theirs, yours, mine, and ours!

a list of resources for stepfamilies. The site itself is devoted to the subject.

CNN Money did an article on Kids who return home that's relative even to kids who don't leave home.

Marriage Builders.com recommends an approach to solving problems.

With theirs, yours, mine and ours considerations present in my marriage, I continue to look for resources. It takes prayer and work to be a modern eight is enough with the eight consisting of blended families. Sometimes the going really gets rough. We have to keep the sleeves rolled up. There's a movie, and I can't recall the name right now - the husband would, where one character says "Scooby Doo, we've got work to do!" (no I don't mean the Scooby Doo shows on which the quote is based). ;-)

UPDATE 10/7/2006: I found it! The Scooby Doo quote is from the movie "Dreamcatcher" based on the reknown writer Stephen King's novel.

2005 - Yikes, the year of Ike?

I oddly realized I had heard two Ike Turner references in movies I had recently watched. One was Diary of a Mad Black Woman - it is near the end - you almost miss it, even though it is one of the first ones. "C'mon Ike Turner, go on out there and get her". The other was the Wedding Crashers' "Wow, we're getting a great preview of what marriage is gonna be like with Ike Turner over here". Strangely enough both were released in 2005. So I wondered how common an occurrence Ike quotes were, and came across these others from imdb.com:

Oh, yeah. Hair like wool, skin like bronze. It's in your Bible. Jesus probably looked more like Ike Turner, but without that "I'm gonna beat ya, woman" look in his eyes.

Duck, Duck, Goose! (2005)

Where would Tina Turner be right now if she'd rolled over and said, "Hit me again, Ike, and put some stank on it!"? Rollin' on the river, that's where she'd be. But she's beyond Thunderdome, because she decided to send a message? [yells] Wake up, sisters! There is nooooooo such thing as a weaker sex! Liar Liar (1997)

Dionne and her boyfriend Murray are in this dramatic relationship. I think they've seen that Ike and Tina Turner movie too many times. Clueless (1995)

Question number three: Given Ted's obsession with colorizing things, is it possible he's the unwanted love child of Ike and Tina Turner? "Mystery Science Theater 3000" (1988).

I also found Ike Turner, Official web site for The Father of Rock and Roll. The movie What's Love Got to Do with It about Ike and Tina Turner was actually released in 1993. Okay I am going to try to return from the abstract. I'm rollin, rollin on the river...on out of here for now.

lost diaries

In this movie of touching romance with the african-american and christian circumstance, Diary of a Mad Black woman (Kimberly Elise, the Practice's Steve Harris, Shemar Moore, Tyler Perry) speaks deeply to restoration from brokenness for anyone - one of those things our God is about - this state of being lost manifests in many forms - hurt, our fault, God's rebuilding, fear, pride. The lost sometimes don't even know they are lost! I prefer the movie over the play - the story is more fully encompassing. It's a remarkable and wise glimpse into the process of recovery .

A conversation between the Kimberly's character and her mama (Cicely):

"You know I know this man put a hurtin' on you baby, but you've got to forgive him. No matter what he done, you've got to forgive him - not for him, but for you."
"Forgive him for me?"
"When some body hurts you they take power over you, if you don't forgive them then they keeps the power. Forgive him baby and after you forgive him, forgive youreself. "

Now ain't that the truth!

My hats off to Tyler Perry and his work. they can be a little earthy, but while keeping it funny (most often hilarious), he keeps it deeply and spiritually real with characters we all know in our own lives - c'mon, you know you know someone! And Cicely Tyson is always a joy to see perform. Adding to Reunion - don't get me started on that one - I cant wait to complete the Madea collection; I've got some work to do!

The Sunday Scripture Report?

You ever have a moment when you see yourself in some other light? I, unusual for me, was at the Sunday morning Bible study recently, and so joined in the discussion class was having. The husband has been moderating the class in recent months, but I've stayed home to get the remaining household underway.

In the midst of the class discussions, I suddenly invisioned the husband and I as sounding like a news anchor team; it was very amusing, so I mentioned it to the class. We all had quite a laugh and as we headed over to Worship Service, in Huntley and Brinkley format, we said "Good night, Chet." "Good night, David"! You never know what the Lord is going to have you doing.

"Let's call this what it is ..."

There are a lot of movies out there from which one can draw thoughts about marriage, a favorite subject of mine. The one l have currently been watching over and over and over again - just ask my husband - is Mr. And Mrs. Smith (M&MS) with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie - as an aside, the one celebrity couple l am presently caught up with (I Know, I know!). Vince Vaughn also adds much to the movie who, oddly enough, is currently rumored to be with Brad's former wife - Jennifer Aniston. Also did you know (I wasn't aware) there are other M&MS films - 1941, 1996 TV Series and TV-Series 2007-????

Anyways (my word, hmmmm... or maybe our eldest daughter's - who said this movie is more like War of the Roses) - again, anyways that being neither here nor there, the movie is a theatrical anatomy of a marriage relationship - you meet, you develop a set of assumptions from which you determine the basis of a relationship, the assumptions get tested and, God willing, you re-evaluate and make any needed adjustments.

"We are going to have to redo every conversation we ever had".

The chemistry between the couple makes the movie very much enjoyable for me - which is what caused me to be intrigued by the acting couple. I have read critics who didn't like the movie but I particularly found the banter delightful - check it out for yourself. Hope you enjoy!

Lorenzo's Oil

Now here's a touching, educational, as well as based on a true story movie - Lorenzo's Oil, starring Susan Sarandon and Nick Nolte as parents of a boy with ALD - a little known disease in 1992 when the movie was released. These parents are heroes of gigantic and human proportion. I wouldn't have the resources they had which soon became enormously stressed, but what really shows here is the tenacity of a parent's heart to do all that can possibly be done for their child and the difficulties faced dealing with and by the medical community in situations such as theirs.

from the movie - "Do you know how many children die every year from choking on french fries? Many more than from Adrenoleukodistrophy. You see, ours is what is known as an orphan disease, too small to be noticed, too small to be funded, especially with the iron hand of "Reganomics"."

A kleenex factor film, it is definitely worth a watch. This site, The Myelin Project, deals with the story of the Odone's and where they and the medical progress is today. The disease the child, Lorenzo, developed essentially strips a protective covering which causes an increasing deterioration of brain functions. The site quite thoroughly speaks to the associated diseases and the Odone's story.

'Where everyone knows my name'

Los Gringo's is a Cheers (remember the TV series?) for me - I've come here on my lunch hour nearly every Taco Tuesday for many years past; who wants to remember beyond that? I've come here with co-worker friends and even with my oldest daughter and oldest son. I'll have to get my husband here one day - he's heard so much about it. But what has capped off my oasis of each week is my mother. She, a diabetic with alzheimers disease at 80 years of age, came into my care a year ago April. She had lunch here with all her children - me and my sister (she's out of state) and brother (~about 75 miles away). It was the first time her children had gathered together with her or at all since her birthday-the month she arrived. At Los Gringos she was treated like family, as we all were and I always have been treated. It was a wonderful memory for each to have, as she left us for her final Home no more than a week later last December. They asked about her too when I next I came. Now, those Tuesdays when I come here alone or not, I know she meets me here 'where everyone knows my name'. My sister and brother continue to join me here when we all can be in town.